


Angels (discontinued)

by pancakeylions



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, LITERALLY, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, becauss thats all i write, can confirm it had improved, directly imported from my tumblr, i started this the very end of last year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13903836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancakeylions/pseuds/pancakeylions
Summary: I'm very sorry for the crappy quality of the first few chapters. This was inspired by weepingladylangst's short fic "Angels" on tumblr. Check her out.There is: bullying, and self doubt and this chapter is really short.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Angels: a short langst fic](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/362067) by weepingladylangst. 



> I'm very sorry for the crappy quality of the first few chapters. This was inspired by weepingladylangst's short fic "Angels" on tumblr. Check her out.  
> There is: bullying, and self doubt and this chapter is really short.

Angels were good at hiding. They’d done it for centuries. Mixing in with demons and humans alike. (Though the two were so similar it hardly mattered what name they went by now; they were all the same.) They were masters of disguise. So it was hardly an ordeal when Lance disguised himself as a mortal baby and ended up on a doorstep in Cuba. It was hardly an ordeal when the mother, kind and caring quickly adopted him telling her two oldest, “You’re going to be big siblings now.”

It was hardly an ordeal when Lance grew up alongside four people, he was used to big families, he was an angel afterall, one of billions.

It was an ordeal when the teasing started.

Lance was always different, he acted differently around others, spoke more formally than most adults too. He tended to stay in the back of things, hiding himself and covering his back. He didn’t make friends. That’s what he was used to. All angels were reserved, shouldn’t humans be too?

“Freak!” The other kids shouted.

“Weirdo.” They said walking away when they thought he couldn’t hear them.

“He’s so quiet.” The teachers would say, staring at him with looks of concern. Lance was a bright boy, likeable too, once you got to know him, so why wasn’t he making friends?

And it’s not like the teasing stopped when he got home. No, Lance was the first to get home. Meaning all the playground bullies, were now at his front door, yelling at him calling him names. Pounding at the door, demanding to be let in so they could rid the world of such a freak.

Freak.

Lance hated that word. Yet it ran through his mind like a hijacked train; out of control and carrying hostages.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety, sadness, bullying, langst, making my pure boi suffer cause I can.

Freak!”

The word reverberated through Lance’s head like the last rings of a gong.

It was the word that made the thoughts creep in and snatch at him in every one of his waking moments. It was the word that made it difficult to see.

On Earth, he didn’t have literal wings. That was impossible, he protected his back out of reflex anyway, but having wings on Earth was… unheard of for angels. But the sky, the clear, blue, beautiful, sky called out to him like a siren”s song. He’d be crazy not to answer it.

So he wanted to become a pilot. He didn’t remember much from where he was from but he could remember the joy, and the freedom that came from soaring through the clouds. And you can’t fly if you can’t see. And you can’t see if your not confident.

The word freak took his sight.

And without his sight he couldn’t be free.

And if he wasn’t free he was chained.

And he hated chains.

~~~

He couldn’t read the letters on the board. That’s how it started.

The teachers swooping A’s and B’s were blurry and hard to understand, even in cool tones.

Red was even worse.

He couldn’t read the pages in his favorite book without everything going out of focus. The treelines became blurry, and the ocean became unseeable. He could barely walk without bumping into something, and that got him called out even more.

“Awe! Little Loser Boy Lance can’t see straight.” They said as they kicked him to the ground, knocking a few teeth loose and giving him enough bruises to last a lifetime.

“Loser Boy Lance” was a new title, the older kids must’ve come up with it, they were the best at picking out new nicknames.

He was nine when they go him checked for glasses. And boy, did that add more fuel to the fire.

“Four Eyes.”

“Nerd.”

“Geek.”

All of them seemingly “harmless” to the adults but damaging to him.

All of them took his sight, little by little.

He was nine when he got contacts. If he changed Pieces of himself little by little, maybe the names would stop. Maybe he’d get his wings back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry to all that follow me on tumblr, I'm avoiding spoilers that's why you're not getting updates.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bullying, angst, self loathing, just a warning bad grammar probably, separation anxiety, fake rivals

The names grew worse when Lance hit puberty. His voice cracked at odd times, making him a laughing stock. (Even though it happened to all the other boys, Lance never really understood why he was the only target.) His face was riddled with acne, and his limbs were growing long and lanky and awkward.

He wanted it to stop. He figured if he used his limbs moe he’d get used to them. So, when everyone else was asleep, he’d walk around town and swim and run, doing all the things he could do before, but somehow relearning them.

He couldn’t fix his annoying voice, but he could fix the acne.

Face mask after face mask and pimple after pimple, he’s soon found a way to keep them gone.

His family noticed, noticed that when they woke up in the middle of the night Lance wasn’t in his bed. Noticed that Lance spent more time on his appearance then he did when he was little. They didn’t question him though. Only set out a glass of water for him on the counter when they noticed he wasn’t home. Only got him more face masks when they noticed the one he had was depleting. These tiny gestures helped him feel better.

The names didn’t stop though. They got worse because now Lance was too tall, to strange, to silent. Lance was twelve when his prescription got drastically worse.

If he changed more of himself, would they like him better?

~~~~~~

The names didn’t stop. He was louder now, more noticeable. He stood up for himself, and got known as the towns trouble maker. The one you should keep your little girl from because he would corrupt her. (He wouldn’t, he might’ve pulled a few pranks but he hadn’t done anything illegal and he wasn’t going to start now.)

But it seemed as though his boisterousness and his reputation made him an easier target.

Thunk! And there went his head against the lockers in the middle school.

“Can’t you shut up for five minutes?” The bully was asking. Lance didn’t even know his name.

“Nope.” Lance said, with a smile. “Don’t know what that means.”

Thunk. That one was harder, It hurt a lot more than it should have.

“Whatever, you’re still a freak.”

~~~~~

The second Lance heard about the garrison he was filling out his forms and packing his bags.

“The Galaxy Garrison is a place full of wondrous opportunities where you can have access to the most cutting edge technology and the chance to explore new places.” Shiro was saying.

Takashi Shirogane. Best pilot in his class, straight A student, who every teacher loved. Lance’s hero. And he was at his school. Lance’s school. A small place in Cuba, that no one really knew of. Lance couldn’t believe it.

“All you have to do is score high enough on a test and you’ll be in in a jiffy.” Shiro was saying. Lance chuckled, Shiro said jiffy.

~~~~

Lance aced his test on the first try. It was no surprise to anyone really. He’d always wanted to fly, to explore places that no one had been before. He already knew all the things on the test.

This school would be different right? The kids would be more responsible, it was a militarily run school after all. The kids would behave themselves? And they wouldn’t judge him if they didn’t know he needed glasses. And they’d never know.

~~~~

Lance met Hunk his first day at the Garrison. Lance had had to fly from Cuba to Cape Canaveral by himself since his parents couldn’t afford the tuition and two plane tickets. And it seemed as though Hunk was in a similar boat. He was from Hawaii, and his parents thought that fourteen-year-old-Hunk wouldn’t need a chaperone. (They were wrong. Hunk barfed at least three times on the plane from separation anxiety alone.)

When Hunk told that to Lance, Lance briefly thought of his own family, his Mama and Papa and his older sisters and his brother and his baby siblings, the triplets, and his niece and nephew, and then he shoved those feeling of homesickness in a bottle to be locked in the back of his mind forever, because right now Hunk needed a friend to listen, not to be a catch-all for Lance’s feelings.

“Tell me about Hawaii.” Lance simply said, because talking about your feelings would help you deal with them, that’s what his Mama always told him, and Hunk needed to feel better. So Lance would listen and Hunk would talk.

~~~~

It seemed the kids here were meaner. Lance didn’t have Hunk in many of his classes, seeing as how Hunk was in engineering and Lance was a cargo pilot. But right now, Lance was wishing he was building the cool robot Hunk was instead of having those disgusting MRE’s thrown at him.

Lance sighed as his vision got a little worse.

~~~~

Lance had seen Takashi Shirogane in person, he did do a speech at his school, but he had never been taught by him.

Shiro (that’s what he asked the class to call him) wasn’t qualified to teach a class himself, heavens no, but he was qualified to give speeches and tips. And for Lance, that was practically the same thing.

Shiro pulled Lance aside after class one day. “Hey-stop shaking you’re not in trouble- I just wanted to tell you that you are in second place for the classes scores. And since you technically aren’t supposed to know until tomorrow but letters go out today, I figured you should know now to tell your parents.” Lance stared in awe for a few moments, leaving Shiro very confused as to why this kid was staring instead of leaving.

“Who’s in first place?” Lance asked stopping Shiro in his tracks.

“Keith Kogane.”

From that day on, even though Lance and Keith had spoken less than three words to each other, Keith was Lance’s rival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also!!!!! MRE's are disgusting and need to be burned.  
> And the garrison is in Florida it only make sense because THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER IS RIGHT HERE FUCK YOU NEVADA.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance hates Keith, Iverson yells at Lance a lot. Nothing else really. Just letting you know. Yelling.

Lance sighed as he looked at the scoreboards in the class. Professor Iverson’s piloting class. Professor Iverson. The epitome of jackass.

Lance wasn’t great at piloting, but he wasn’t the worst either. He was good enough to be a cargo pilot and that was enough for him.

Okay, that’s a lie.

It wasn’t enough, because to him, nothing he did was ever enough. Especially because Keith Kogane, god damn KEITH KOGANE, was a fighter pilot. The best in his class fighter pilot. The kid who put literally zero work into anything that wasn’t flying.

Lance hated him. And he was at the top of the class.

~~~

Things might be looking up for Lance. Keith dropped out, or got kicked out, the details were hazy but Lance didn’t care. Because now Lance was a fighter pilot and Hunk was his engineer. Some kid named Pidge was his communications officer, Lance didn’t know him, but that was okay. They’d have time for team bonding later.

~~~

Lance was a bad pilot. Okay he wasn’t a bad pilot, but he was too arrogant, and he didn’t listen to what his teammates were trying to say. He just did. He flew without any regards for his or his teammates lives and opinions and one day that was going to get him killed.

But he didn’t care.

He wanted to be the best and the best was Keith, and this was how Keith flew.

“McClain! What the hell was that?” Iverson said yelling and getting a little to close for Lance’s comfort.

“That was piloting, sir.” Was Lance’s snarky reply because he never learned to keep his mouth shut, did he?

“You call that piloting? You know what that was McClain? That was endangering the life of your crew! Need I remind you that the only reason you’re here is because the ace pilot of this class dropped out. I’m sure we can find much better participants to take your place McClain.”

Lance snorted.

“Something funny, cadet?” Iverson asked face red.

“No sir. Not at all. Just that if there was someone more willing to take my place, and a better candidate, why aren’t they in here?”

That was the first time Lance was sent to the principal’s office.

And it sure as hell wasn’t the last.

~~~~

Lance whooped with joy when he found out Hunk was on his team the next semester too. And Pidge again. Pidge was nice, but a little standoffish at first. But this was Lance. Lance McClain, who never gave up anything if it wasn’t completely necessary, he’d cracked Pidge the first day. Him, Hunk and Pidge were inseparable.

~~~~

“That’s Keith Kogane!” Lance was upset. Iverson had yelled at them again, Pidge had gotten touchy when Kerberos was brought up, and Lance had took the brunt of the fall. He didn’t mind of course. He’s been dealing with Iverson for years now, and he had siblings, he had taken the fall-and been thrown under the bus-more times than he could count.

No, what hurt was Keith was here. Again. Keith never left really. He was like a stupid pointy sword. Brash and attacking and something you used to rip gigantic holes in your enemies chests. Much less graceful than a gun. They were straight to the point. They didn’t hack away at anything. They exploded and left neat holes in things, not ugly gashes. Lance hated swords.

And not only was that stupid Keith-sword used on him again today, this stupid Keith-sword was here-where Takashi Shirogane was. Stupid Keith and his closeness to Shiro. Stupid Keith and his stupid mullet, and stupid sword, and stupid everything.

~~~~

“Who are you?”

Those words cut through Lance like a knife. Stupid Keith-knives. But Lance shrugged it off and pretended he didn’t care, pretended it didn’t hurt. He pretended he didn’t need a stronger prescription. He was doing a lot of pretending lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU KNOW putting all of this in two websites is ducking torture??!?!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scars, explosions, cursing, tell me if anything else needs to be added, oh yes and blood.

They were in space.

They were in fucking space, with fucking space lions, and fucking space furries.

Life couldn’t get any better.

Lance didn’t mind space, he was training to be a pilot, what he minded was the fact that he was being shot at. What he minded was that he hadn’t had chance to say “goodbye” to his family. What he mined was that the Garrison probably told his parents he was fucking dead.

What he minded was the groans he got from his teammates.

~~~

Lance didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

He didn’t even really like Allura, sure she was pretty, she was very, very pretty.

But Lance liked someone else, someone back on Earth who he never got to say goodbye to, who was already taken.

And even then Lance wasn’t really sure he liked this person, he just felt a closeness to this human because maybe this person helped him figure out he was bi.

All he knew was that he did not like Allura and she did not like him so what the fuck was he doing.

It took him a little to realize it was because he was keeping up appearances.

Pidge and Hunk expected him to be the guy who smiled a lot and told lame jokes, they expected him to be the person who flirted with pretty girls. And Allura was pretty, so he was expected to flirt with her.

Lance had spent so much time conforming to people’s expectations, it wasn’t hard, it wasn’t hard at all.

~~~

During training, Lance decided he did not like anything they were doing.

Fighting? Nope. No thank you. Please get that out of his face this instant thanks. Fighting his teammates made him feel like the bullies from his school, Lance preferred to use his words. This is why momma said I should be a diplomat.

The maze? Double nope. Lance wasn’t sure why, he was sure at one point he did know why-but now the memory was fuzzy and unreachable- but he hated being blind. Maybe it was because he need a prescription stronger than the Earth’s gravitational pull to be able to see, maybe it was because being blind was something that had happened to him before and it was not fun.

Lance remembered when he was in the third grade, the first year he had his glasses, and the fifth graders broke his frames.

He couldn’t see very well after that, almost blind, and the older kids had taken it upon themselves to beat him up.

He was sent home early.

It was almost a month before his parents could afford new glasses. And instead of the thick frames he’d had before, he requested contacts.

And the mind meld. Or whatever you wanted to call that hellscape. Lance could feel the memories popping up, the years of being kicked in the ribs, of being shoved against lockers, of the feeling of his glasses snapping against his nose, of the blood running into his mouth after that.

Lance forced himself to think of his family. His mom, his dad, his older sister, and his younger brother, his niece and nephew. That wasn’t all his family, but they were spread all over the world, sen to college or in the military, and not all of them could make it to the annual family picture day.

Lance saw Hunk’s screen flicker from his moms, to his grandma, to his nephew, whom he had droned endlessly about, and finally he settled on food.

Lance knew exactly what Hunk was doing, because he did it every single day.

~~~

Lance winced.

Explosions hurt, he realized just before he blacked out.

He had brief moments of waking and they fucking hurt.

Shiro didn’t know how to be gentle apparently, just sling the boy over your shoulder like a rag doll why don’t you? That won’t make the injuries worse, heck no.

Lance remembered shooting Sendak, and for some reason holding Keith’s hand, (Why did he do that? He wanted to punch Keith’s perfect teeth in because he was so fucking perfect and that was so fucking annoying. Not hold his stupid fucking hand.) and being shoved into a pod.

~~~

Lance decided he hated the pods.

Well, he decided he hated heroics first. The team had groaned, shaking their heads when he’d made a joke, as if nearly dying would change his personality. Well excuse you, he had almost fucking died. He was in a fucking explosion. He thought he deserved to make one joke after that.

Lance hated his eyes second, everything was starting to get fuzzy again.

But Lance still hated the pods.

He remembered the first scar he got. It was on his chin, him and his brother were sword fighting with sticks, and his brothers stick-sword had gotten a little too close to his face. Just under his chin, so still technically on his chin, thank you very much Hunk, and was only visible if he tilted his head skyward. He’d gotten other scars, obviously, on his knees, or from bullies, and a small one on the bridge of his nose, reminiscent of when his glasses had been broken.

But the one that was created from the explosion was huge.

Lance was still wearing his paladin armor when the explosion happened, so, had he been allowed to heal naturally, he probably would’ve had a medium sized scar.

But he was shoved into a healing pod.

Human bodies are not meant for rapid generation, he noted, looking behind him at the mirror, and touching his back.

Stretching across the expanse of his back, from his hip-bones to the bottom of his neck was a scar.

A large, explosion shaped scar, full of bumps and divots and ridges, and a whole skin tone lighter than his own.

And it hurt. It was like fire burning through him, and Lance was positive the pain would fade, but he wasn’t quite sure how the pods worked, maybe he’d be left with this pain forever, it was already hard to move. And if this pain stayed… Well, Veradero might be missing one McClain.

That was the first time Lance cried in space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't be bothered to find Chapter 6 again so I'm leaving you all with Chapter 5.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronic pain, assault, Lance’s bayard is a gun?? I FOUND CHAPTER 6!!!!

Lance winced, sitting down in his chair as he fed his goo to the mice. Hoping the others didn’t notice, praying that Pidge would decide not to leave.  
And wishing that he could knock Keith’s teeth in and rip that stupid mullet from his skull.  
Lance decided that his reaction to Pidge being a girl might’ve been a little uncalled for, but it was a little too late for him to apologize, now he was stuck in space with his back still burning weeks after the explosion.  
His vision was steadily getting worse, though he could still shoot just fine, he’d lived with constantly needing a new prescription for a majority of his life, this wasn’t anything new.  
Except now it was getting hard to tell who was who.  
When Coran and Hunk stood together he saw too yellow-orange blobs.  
Keith was easy, a short, angry, red, thing.  
Pidge was short and green.  
Shiro and Allura stood together so often they had started to merge into a white and gray mass and that was starting to be a problem.  
It was an issue because although he had ears, he couldn’t properly look at who was talking to him, because they always stood so close. And their closeness was starting to get him in trouble.

“Lance your aim is a little off.” Allura’s voice had told him during training “Are you okay?" 

Lance smiled, nodding his head in the general direction of the Altean, which gray-white blob he was nodding at was unclear because Shiro and Allura had drifted together again.  
"I’m over here Lance, please look at me not Shiro when I’m adressing you.” Allura said tensely, motioning for the paladins to disperse.  
Lance shifted his gaze to the left, to look at Allura.  
“Sorry, Princess.” He said leaving, but not before nearly running into a wall. His headache was pounding between his eyes.  
“I really need some help.” He muttered to himself.  
~~~  
“LANCE! When Allura is talking to you, look at her not me. If not it is very disrespectful, I figured you’d know this.” Shiro barked when Lance had yet again, had a hard time discerning between the blurbs of color.  
It’s getting really hard to see, harder than usual.  
Maybe I should tell the team. He thought before wincing as the muscles in his back spasmed.  
~~~  
“Hey guys.” Lance said walking into the kitchen with his glasses on, because the headaches were getting tiresome, and we’ll he didn’t want to be a disability to the team, there was only so much pain meds you could take before your body became almost immune to its effect.  
Keith did a double take.  
“Lance did you steal a pair of Pidge’s glasses?” Keith asked causing the rest of the team to look up.  
Lances laughed.  
“No, I tried, hers are fake.”  
Pidge gasped, looking affronted.  
“I can assure you at one point these were very re- Lance holy shit those frames are super thick how blind are you?” She asked, taking the glasses off the bridge of his nose and putting them on.  
“Holy shitting fuck Lance what the hell???”  
A course of “Let me see!”’s went around the table, and each person had the same reaction, “I can’t fucking see anything.”  
When Shiro tried them on, he blinked before a soft, “What the fuck?” Could be heard.  
Lance laughed tensely grabbing his glasses back and rubbing off the smudges, “Funny thing is, even with these it’s still pretty hard to see shit.”  
He got new glasses that day. It’s not like it would matter, he’d need new ones in about a week.  
~~~  
It was during a mission. Because he could never get hurt in the comfort of his own bedroom, it had to be when his friends, no his family, could get hurt.  
“As you can see, Voltron can be a very powerful ally to your planet! All we need from you is access to a reasonable amount of your resources, and in return, you will have Voltron’s full protection!” Allura was saying, tone kind and gentle, but with undercurrents of pleading. Her smile was wide, but her eyes were weary. It made sense. They had been at this for three vargas now.  
Lance winced as a spike of pain shot up his back, cashing him to drop his Bayard. The paladins had been instructed to keep them out as a sign of good faith. Lance wasn’t sure what kind of good faith having a weapon out was, but the paladins had pulled them out anyway.  
And his had just dropped to the floor with a soft clunk.  
“Fuck.” He muttered softly. He could bend down and grab it, at the risk that pain would make him blackout or seize up. Or he could leave it there and jeopardize this alliance. Choices choices, Lance thought. Bending down to grab his Bayard, clenching his teeth in pain, his vision whiting out for a split second, before his fingers found the handle of the gun and he straightened out, letting lose a soft whimper at the stabbing sensation that shot through him.  
“…. Your offer sounds well and good princess but-”  
A sharp pain raced up Lance’s spine, and before he could process what was happening, he was on the floor, consciousness lost.  
~~~  
Lance had fallen to the ground, his body hitting the floor with a loud clang, drawing all eyes towards him.  
The paladins sucked in huge breaths, Keith just about to tell Lance to get the fuck up before a Dolorian walked over and put their head near Lance’s chest, listening for a heartbeat.  
“THE PALADIN IS INJURED!” They screamed, causing several of the nobels watching the negotiations to place a hand on their chest, and the common folk to let out an eardrum shattering screech. Some even broke down in tears.  
The Queen of the planet schooled her face from utter shock to that of a war general, which Keith supposed, wasn’t that far off from the truth.  
“Take the Blue One to the infirmary, everyone else please exit the building in an orderly fashion.” Her voice demanded, cutting through the screams and quieting the hushed whispers.  
Lance was dragged away from the team, and the people were filing out of the building, talking amongst themselves. Keith heard snippets of conversation, but one theme remained constant: “What did we do?”  
“Stay here.” The Queen ordered, voice cold and slightly detached sounding, as though her mind wasn’t quite in the present.  
~~~  
Queen Cruciatu came back after an immeasurable amount of time, breaking up the paladins conversation of theory’s.  
“We’re you aware that your paladin was caught in an explosion?” The Queen asked, sliding elegantly into her throne.  
“Yes,” Allura said. “Why does this matter?”  
The Queen gave the Princess a wry smile.  
“It seems as though the explosion gave your teammate some nerve damage. Well, that’s what our scanners show at least, humans bodies are overly complicated.” The Queen said, looking slightly frustrated before a maniac grin graced her features.  
“Arrest them.” She said simply, watching as her guard quickly overpowered the paladins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a very lazy person you will all soon realize. Have a nice night!!!


	7. discontinued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeet, i um i realized that i kinda hate this now so im discontinuing it until i feel more confident in myself to be able to write this without screaming very loudly

okay so I'm very sorry but I realized that the drama and hate on tumblr and in this fandom was killing my soul so I was like okay I gotta stop, so I deleted my tumblr (you can find me again at yeetmeintothesun) and even before that I realized the reason it took me so long to update was because I didn't like what I was writing, so I decided that I was going to stop this and rewrite it until I liked it so I apologize for this and I'm really grateful for all of the support and kindness you all have shown me, but I don't feel like this is worth it so I'm stopping this and waiting until this weird feeling I have goes away and I can write this again.

Again, I'm really sorry for all of this and I apologize, but if you want to like, be mutuals or internet friends we can on tumblr or something,,,,,, but yeah.


End file.
